A letter sent to my fellow fans of BNL...

"Yo....I exist....."

Last year - http://s634.photobucket.com/albums/uu61/sj073_photo/?action=view&current=IMG_8218.jpg

This year - http://s634.photobucket.com/albums/uu61/sj073_photo/?action=view&current=P1010910.jpg

A picture is worth a thousand words - you can totally see it in their faces that they knew this was the last time they'd take a bow together as a five piece band. I have to ask, did you see this coming? Steve making his exit, that is. All the news items say it was mutual and I'm not asking you to give me your viewpoint, but I will make my observations, as many are.

But I won't make them here.

That was an ironic day for me because I was let go from work. The job was killing me and to see what happened with BNL, there are some lines of correlation drawn for me. I too, needed to move on and focus on the next good part of my life. Music. The days leading up to Wednesday for me were filled with tears and stress but worst of all, I lost my desire to create. That morning, I took my 15 minute break, (something I started to do religiously if only to get away from my controlling and micromanaging boss), and started my 19th song. That muse I mentioned earlier on (another email, I think) must have knew what was to happen that afternoon. I was pre-occupied and immersed in heartache and disappointment at that desk. I even wrote a song about why the hell I was still there!

After seeing the interviews online with Ed, and Steve, I looked at my life and realized that BNL, in it's former incarnation, offered so much in the way of offering a sound track to my life up to now. With Steve moving on, (just like I am in a search for work), I can look forward to BNL continuing to offer a soundtrack to my life going forward...just "differently".

I did get the autographs on my guitar from Ed, Kevin, Jim, Andy, heck, even FIN lat year, and finally, on this last cruise, the ever elusive Tyler. I even got a pic with him, so that was cool. Now, I did run into Steve almost five times inside of two hours on that first night, and I *DID* have my guitar with me, yet....I didn't ask him for his "scribble", rather, I had another ship and dipper deliver a Star of David-shaped guitar pick I made as a reminder that people still think of the man and not just the music. I find it strange that I can now boast that I have all the members of BNL present on my guitar...but still, I have FIN and Andy on there. Steven is still missing, more than before.

Sigh.