The ACME Anvil (One)

F#ck AIG.

2009-03-15T22:30:00.000-07:00

AIG Discloses $75 Billion in Bailout Payments

Read on and pass it along to everyone you know

Use what you got.

2009-03-06T07:28:00.001-08:00

In these tough economic times, those who are out of work aren't finding much in the way of jobs suited for what they've been trained to do. It's probably a good thing that I never took any formal training. Then again, those who have are getting all the "jobs" that are out there right now. I am fortunate in that I am in a situation where I can focus on my true ability of being creative. I write songs. I also have learned that there is a weekly open Mic night at a local pub...okay, it's just a notch above a "dive" but they are offering space for me to play my stuff. I counted and have 19 and a half songs in my book. three and a half more and I have enough to place onto a first album. Either I do this or release all of them in the form of a double album. As to whether people will buy said album, that's beyond my ability to predict.

What's important right now is finding out what the public thinks of my music. I have a space in my home where I create, edit, labor and practice and in that space.....I rock. In front of other people is where I need to practice and truly shine though, because, let's face it...when you're alone with your guitar and you make a little flub in the chords or you forget a lyric, you just keep going and you forget that you even did it.

There is a way to hear what you are doing and it's called recording your work and listening to it. My bass player and I did this last week and threw together a slap-dash demo of one of my songs - well two actually. One without vocals (sounds great) and one with....(ick). The two of us are not engineers by any stretch of the imagination and after hearing that second version with the vocals, I'm not too happy about it at all. I know I need to re-evaluate my capo placement on some of these tunes, but then again, it's just the two of us. We may have another vocalist soon and it would be nice to see how his treatment on these songs will change them up.

Perhaps I'm being too hypercritical, but I've always said that when it comes to my creativity, I'm a perfectionist.

Practice perfect makes perfect...let's hope this translates to a great demo.

Wish me luck....

Okay, YOU TUBE

2009-03-03T10:33:00.001-08:00

You Tube - you are a bunch of bastards.

A note to Blogspot

2009-03-03T10:27:00.000-08:00

I think it would be really spiffy keen if I could just change the email address I use to sign on to blog because that address isn't valid anymore.

How about the fine folks at GOOGLE pull their big brains out of their big asses long enough to develop a help system that allows us users to actually TALK to a human

do no evil, my ass....

A letter sent to my fellow fans of BNL...

2009-02-27T01:30:00.000-08:00

"Yo....I exist....."

Last year - http://s634.photobucket.com/albums/uu61/sj073_photo/?action=view&current=IMG_8218.jpg

This year - http://s634.photobucket.com/albums/uu61/sj073_photo/?action=view&current=P1010910.jpg

A picture is worth a thousand words - you can totally see it in their faces that they knew this was the last time they'd take a bow together as a five piece band. I have to ask, did you see this coming? Steve making his exit, that is. All the news items say it was mutual and I'm not asking you to give me your viewpoint, but I will make my observations, as many are.

But I won't make them here.

That was an ironic day for me because I was let go from work. The job was killing me and to see what happened with BNL, there are some lines of correlation drawn for me. I too, needed to move on and focus on the next good part of my life. Music. The days leading up to Wednesday for me were filled with tears and stress but worst of all, I lost my desire to create. That morning, I took my 15 minute break, (something I started to do religiously if only to get away from my controlling and micromanaging boss), and started my 19th song. That muse I mentioned earlier on (another email, I think) must have knew what was to happen that afternoon. I was pre-occupied and immersed in heartache and disappointment at that desk. I even wrote a song about why the hell I was still there!

After seeing the interviews online with Ed, and Steve, I looked at my life and realized that BNL, in it's former incarnation, offered so much in the way of offering a sound track to my life up to now. With Steve moving on, (just like I am in a search for work), I can look forward to BNL continuing to offer a soundtrack to my life going forward...just "differently".

I did get the autographs on my guitar from Ed, Kevin, Jim, Andy, heck, even FIN lat year, and finally, on this last cruise, the ever elusive Tyler. I even got a pic with him, so that was cool. Now, I did run into Steve almost five times inside of two hours on that first night, and I *DID* have my guitar with me, yet....I didn't ask him for his "scribble", rather, I had another ship and dipper deliver a Star of David-shaped guitar pick I made as a reminder that people still think of the man and not just the music. I find it strange that I can now boast that I have all the members of BNL present on my guitar...but still, I have FIN and Andy on there. Steven is still missing, more than before.

Sigh.

....here we are again.....and again.

2008-09-17T21:53:00.000-07:00

Well balls.

I should get an award or something for what I've been through and how I've handled it thus far. Yes I'm talking about my uncanny ability to land interview after interview and not get hired because of this god damn competitive market.

Thanks google, for hiring brainiacs and inadvertently spreading the word to each and every one of my prospective employees to do the same.

Sure, I don't have a degree, but god damn it, I'm smart and have the skills. Someone just effing hire my ass before I turn fifty already, I have plans for F--k sake.

My wife has supported this household for long enough and is prematurely aging because of it. Stress is tearing her up and I am seriously running out of ways to distract and absorb her bad days when she comes home from a 78 f---ing mile commute because her stupid boss reneged on an agreement to allow her to work closer to home.

Faaaaak! Give us a break who ever's up there at the "help desk in the sky"?!!

Testing 1 2 3

2007-07-25T19:57:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vYzbMJlqUY&feature=channel_page

Another Month Another Dollar

2005-10-04T09:51:00.000-07:00

When I came to work where I’m working, they said they needed me for a week.

That was over 5 months ago…. I’m not complaining, but unfortunately, that time may be coming to a close near the end of October, (this month). So, I broke out my resume and to my shock and dismay, discovered that I had 13 different versions.

You got any idea how hard it is to re-classify one’s self with that many resumes?

Well, it’s a good thing I woke up at 5:00 AM this morning because it took me a good two hours stripping information from the best of the best to create something that I know will be scrutinized by many-an- HR person for less than 15 seconds.
Perhaps I should put it on paisley paper…

Oh Bother....

2005-09-29T12:39:00.000-07:00

I've been informed that I hadn't posted anything since the 17th - REASONS for this are as follows....

10.) Had to chase a squirrel out of my kitchen
9.) I was over-wroght with grief that I missed recording the "Beet" episode of Good Eats
8.) There was an earthquake
7.) We bought a haunted quilt and it's causing things to fly around the room
8.) My feet are swollen
7.) It was a full moon
6.) I burned dinner and had go-out instead.
5.) There was a big icky spider on my computer that said it would eat me.
4.) Someone replaced my cats with perfect duplicates and forgot to leave the manual
3.) Aforementioned cats had thumbs - use your imagination...
2.) I got a silly ticket from an annoyed CHP offcier trying to meet his quota

...and the number one reason why I haven't posted in a while..

1.) I'm lazy.

The Venture Borthers

2005-09-17T11:05:00.000-07:00

For those of you who enjoyed Johnny Quest, you will definately enjoy this show.

I've posted Brock Samson's ID card for anyone who'd like to print it up, and have it in their wallet!

Enjoy!

Don't watch Dog the Bounty Hunter

2005-09-16T09:53:00.000-07:00

For those of you who know of this TV show on A&E and are inclined to help DOG to find anyone, and if by some freak of nature, the man calls you to get information about a fugitive, RECORD THE CONVERSATION.

Back in May, I helped Dog find someone on his "most wanted" list on his website. The words CASH REWARD were stamped across the guy's face too.

After talking with DOG and BETH, (who is a ....well it rhymes with "clucking pitch"), Dog invited me on the show. I didn't address the cash reward thing as I felt it was not appropriate at the time. They both were saying things like " we need someone like you on our team" and "this is a one in a million tip" and "you don't have any problem with retaliatory actions do you?" (My reply noted that the guy would be in prison in HAWAII and that I didn't have any problems)I ask when he'd be in the area and he said he'd call me.NO SUCH LUCK.They caught the guy in August with less than 5 hours on the bail remaining, (read the article in SF chronicle for details).

Naturally I was a bit miffed at this and attempted to contact A&E as well as Da Kine Bail Bonds.I got this email back from BETH...

We owe you nothing ! Dog does not control who is on and who is not on the show we have no control over the production of the show ... you have threatened us for the last time do not contact us again or we will take legal action against you!

"Threatened" = sending emails and making phone calls asking for someone to please contact me regarding this capture and my part in it.

Again we owe you nothing I can easily prove you did not give the lead. Watch the show ! you were never promised anything he said he would try he never told you , you would get a reward Unless your leads directly lead to the apprehension which yours did not ...

Oh poppycock.

It is inappropriate for you to continue to contact me and if you continue I will take necessary steps toMake you stop

Who's threatening who now?

..Good Day sir
Beth Smith

I think I need not comment any further on the virtues of white trash....

Needless to say, I have already contacted the San Francisco Chronicle and the A&E production department to find out what the heck is up their butts.

"Good day sir" ...riiiiight, she wouldn't know where that quote came from if it hit her in the side of her "chocolate-stuffed" over-sprayed hair-do.

HowStuffWorks - Learn how Everything Works!

2005-09-08T15:54:00.000-07:00

http://www.howstuffworks.com/

Neat site - happy browsing....

Send Relief

2005-09-01T14:00:00.000-07:00

Please visit http://www.paarc.org/ for information regarding direct donations - the "Donate Now" button is near the middle of the page and in RED.

Please visit the post on Craigslist.com for the fund raiser;

http://www.craigslist.org/pen/gms/94706706.html

If you couldn't link - here it is;
In light of the disastrous effects of Hurricane Katrina in the South East, my neighbors are are holding a garage sale Mountain View on Sunday with all of the proceeds going to the American Red Cross.

If you have some stuff lying around your house that aren’t sure what to do with or clothes that you just don’t wear anymore, please bring it on over! Any donations any of you can make would be appreciated, I know it’s short notice, but anything you can do would be great.

If you are looking for a garage sale to find some cool stuff, come by! So far we have clothes, books and furniture.

If you have any questions, would like to help us out, want to know where to donate items or where to come check out the garage sale, please feel free to shoot my neighbor or myself an email. Please put “hurricane Katrina” in the subject line so we don’t accidentally delete you!

-Lewis

THERE IS ANOTHER POSTING VERY SIMILAR TO THIS IN PLAIN TEXT WITH JENNA'S EMAIL ADDRESS - SHE IS THE ORGANIZER OF THIS GARAGE SALE - I AM SHAMELESSLY DOUBLE POSTING THIS BECAUSE - WELL - IT'S NEEDED BY THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WITHOUT HOMES OR FOOD.

Staple Remover

2005-08-24T10:15:00.000-07:00

This post is shamelessly aimed at one person and is not meant for every person who lives in Australia. If everyone in Australia responded to this, Blogger.com might be a little upset at how much space their servers had left on them.

If there is anyone, (most likely a Geek in a Kitchen) who happens to know how to get a Dahle Scissor-style Staple Remover please do so and let me know. Noelle, (pictured to the right), used to have one and it went missing. Her job has her removing more staples than there are fallen trees in the Amazon

As it happens this item is only sold in Australia and their website doesn't seem to be friendly to international purchases and shipping for something so small. That and we're hoping a friend who is there now will stop by a location of "Australian Post" and pick one up to bring back in December, (saving us the trouble)

Thanks Ted! (Did you get your glasses yet?)

We really should move...

2005-08-22T11:03:00.000-07:00

Noelle and I came home last night to a neighborhood in practical lock-down.

There was a shooting 200 yards from our home around the corner from the Quickie Mart. No it wasn't actually IN the Quickie Mart, rather, in the middle of the street. Some 19 year old punk-gang-banger decided to shoot at someone's car and in the process killed the guy. Three shots to the head. Judging from where they had the telltale yellow blanket on the ground, the poor man stumbled from his car, across three lanes to the grass in front of the Quickie Mart where he fell and expired.

All this because of the Gangster Rap, Hip Hop, NOISE and “music” fest called the KMEL Summer Jam at Shoreline Amphitheater. It is widely known that this event attracts violence and this time, for that poor person in the car who, I hear, didn't even attend the event, the violence struck senselessly. What if i had been home, and decided to go over to Costco for some steak at that time?

Shudder the thought...It's things like this that don't make me feel safe in my own home. We live in Mountain View because it's a quiet community with friendly neighbors, (okay, maybe not the people who live behind us). When we hear of things like this happening with more frequency, we get scared.

Here's the kicker - when we finally got to our apartment, our neighbor told us that the fugitive, (whom they have not caught yet) took a shortcut through OUR apartment complex! This just makes a guy feel all fuzzy inside.

So Noelle and I have decided to start looking for better places to live. We're thinking of Colma. The Population in 2002 was 1,179 and there are more dead people there than there are living.

Now that's quiet.

(....for those of you who are interested in the story that the SJ Mercury posted online, I tried to insert the link here, but it redirects to a subscription page, so here is the text from that article regarding the shooting)

Police probe fatal shooting in Mtn. View...

Mountain View police were investigating a homicide Sunday evening near Shoreline Amphitheatre soon after concertgoers had filed out from the annual, daylong KMEL Summer Jam concert.Police received a call about 7:45 p.m. of shots fired in the area of Rengstorff Avenue and Old Middlefield Way.

They arrived to find one male victim lying alongside the road near a strip mall at the intersection. He was later pronounced dead.

Witnesses reported a large gathering and a fight before the shooting at a strip mall on the southwest corner of the intersection. The crowd fled after the gunfire. Witnesses said the assailants left in three, older, American-made sedans. No suspects were in custody, police said, though they were looking for a black male in his late teens or early 20s, about 5 foot 10 to 6 feet tall and 180 pounds. He was wearing a white baggy T-shirt down past his waist and long, baggy blue shorts.

Police said they didn't know whether the victim or assailants had attended the concert, which featured several pop and hip-hop artists and ended about 6:15 p.m. They also didn't know whether the shooter and victim knew each other.

COMLPIANCE!

2005-08-19T13:12:00.000-07:00

No, folks, I'm not talking about training hamsters. I'm talking about my job.

For those of you who know me well, there are three things that make my CRAZY.

Paper clips
Faxes
and Excel spreadsheets

I am working at "a client"through "a company", (which, in my opinion is the best company I have ever worked for), and I am helping a woman who is doing a project which has been described as "what Imodium is for" because doesn't seem to have any kind of END in sight...it just keeps coming and coming and coming.....

What I get to do is manage PAPERCLIPS, FAXES, AND SPREADSHEETS all day long, while blissfully tearing what little hair I have left OUT. It's amazing the amount of absolute crap the Department of Transportation requires in order for someone to drive a truck from point "A" to point "B" and back.

To be fair, it's only 13 things, it's just that these things are moved from point "A" to point "B" to point "D" to point "C", BACK to point "A" and finally to point "L9883.Re7".....and back to me.

Naturally, by the time I get a chance to read this fax it look as though a pixel threw up, blew up, and dissolved on a page. fortunatly, I have the originals or the second generation documents from when they went to point "F".

as a wise man said;

That which does not kill us...........

INJURES US!

...at any rate, it's a bear of a project that by the time it actually IS finished, both this woman and I will be regarded at as heroes, if not office Deities.

Back to the trenches....

HOT LUNCH!

2005-08-18T05:25:00.000-07:00

I found a new site with lots of fun little things!

Liquid Generation has a odd job finder which asks you a series of funny questions, resulting in an odd job which would suit you best - I'd show you what I got, but when I posted it before, here, I noticed a button up at the top of the blogger page which was not there before...."flag?" was the button, so if you go to this site, and take the test and come up with "Hot Lunch Server", that's what I got. - ...And they didn't know I was a side cook for Marie Callanders!

2005-08-05T23:26:00.000-07:00

Hi there,

I'm Ted's glasses! He's has had me for so long, even I can't remember, but this much I do know, If I weren't screwed to his head, he'd forget me altogether...

No wait - he did. He's taken off for austrailia and I remain here with the two freaks he stayed with before he left. They are going to put me in a package destined for Austrailia, first thing tomorrow, (which for Ted, would be a few hours before the first thing the next day, but that'd be Sunday and the post office would be closed.....there, or here....Oh, I'm confused, but at least it'll be an adventure...

It's so funny I had to post this

2005-08-01T23:48:00.000-07:00

This is on my wishlist for a very obvious reason. There are a set of 8 cubes, each with their own three-letter named person inside and plenty of stuff to put on the walls.

I highly reccommend going to ThinkGeek.com and buying me at least 1,

Hey, I just turned 39 - I deserve this!

...and on the right side of the car.....more trees....

2005-08-01T23:34:00.000-07:00

HI everyone!

...this is what happens when you give a raving lunatic a digital camera on a road trip...

Pooor Noelle......

Cuz I've been BUSY that's why....

2005-08-01T23:07:00.000-07:00

A fellow geek who just so happens to be in a kitchen asked why I hadn't updated my blog in a while - See aforementioned title to this particular "bit"...

So...I'm not doing the fire extinguisher thing anymore because it was determined that getting blasted in the face with chemicals once or twice weekly would be contusive to a sick Lewis. I informed my boss that I had a borrowed kidney and they understood - I got my last check from then and went home - relieved. The last thing I need is for my kidney to go bad while trying to "save lives" - Not to sound selfish, here, but ME FIRST!

Noelle's working for Administaff and as an HR staffing solution; they have more than 80K employees. Yes you read that right - Eighty Thousand. As an orientation rep, Noelle gets to fly to Arizona a lot, not to mention L.A. and all parts of the bay area. Seeing as how Administaff has been growing like a weed, they need help - lots of it. Not just your regular help, the administrative crap that takes more time than is necessary. That's where I come in.

My job started as a one-week assignment working with a lady with whom I rode Big Wheels when I was 5 years old. This one-week assignment hasn't ended yet and it doesn't look like it will either. Come the end of August, my "offsite" status at one of our client's buildings (Netflix), will end and I'll be likely nabbed up by the next desperately over-loaded person either in Walnut Creek or San Mateo - there's a third office somewhere in this region, I just haven't seen it yet - give them time, I'll be working out of it soon enough....

Oh by the way - this one-week thing has lasted two and a half months now.

All this "doing the legwork" for labor intensive projects has landed me the self-appointed nick-name of "Company Slave" - which is fine by me because I get to work 7 and a half hours a day for more than most "temps" in my position usually get.

So the long and the short of it is that Noelle and I finally got a weekend filled with fun and frivolity - at long last!

We garage saled, went to a drive in to see Charlie and the Chocolate factory, (damn-good representation with just the right amount of Burton-esque quirkiness), ate out, (a rarity), and Noelle did something that would make most guys faint - she bought a 3 wood and we did the back 9 at Deep Cliff in Cupertino.

It's official, we don’t' suck as much as we thought at golf!

More later because, well, it's supposed to be a blog, right?

Lazy Sundays are good

2005-05-29T16:09:00.000-07:00

Having one now - it's 4:00 PM and Noelle and I JUST got dressed.

I highly reccommend this.......

....think I'll take another nap.

"Over-qualified"

2005-05-23T22:20:00.000-07:00

Being on the verge of turning 39, (in July), and having as much experience as I have accumulated over the years, I have reached the status of being "Over-qualified". This is not to say that I've not had this status for the past 7 months, it's just that every time some manager who is hiring for a receptionist/admin position sees my resume, they invariably say the same thing. I'm "Over-qualified".

Kind of a catch 22 and while I'd love to pull my hair out over it, I just have to keep telling myself one thing.....

"Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff."

Eww....

Suck Rocks

2005-05-20T05:05:00.000-07:00

I used to think that telling someone to suck rocks was a blow-off or insult until I read this....

http://www.wired.com/news/space/0,2697,67583,00.html?tw=wn_tophead_2

You know, in my lifetime, I've seen a lot of words invented. Words like Silicon, and acronyms such as VCR, CD, DVD and MTV. I don't doubt that science will be sucking rocks before long.

.....god knows our administration already is.....

GRRR.....

2005-05-18T17:35:00.000-07:00

The cat peed on my new flip flops

Back to being a Domestic Engineer...

2005-05-16T09:23:00.000-07:00

So, this morning, while I am not gainfully employed....once again....I had to get up and drive out to my "job" and have a conversation involving my kidney transplant and the medications I take which hamper my immune system. While I am physically able to perform the tasks, we both agreed that the aforementioned hazardous conditions are not the best environment for me to be in and we amicably parted ways.

NEEEXT!!!

Two Weeks

2005-05-14T08:52:00.000-07:00

After waking up on Friday with a horrible chest pain, phlegm from hell, and the unnatural desire to toss my cookies in the shower, I determined that working with chemicals for a living is more detrimental than I am willing to cope with.

I went to work that morning where the co-founder of the company taught me and three other guys more than we'll ever need to know about fire safety, extinguishers, state code, and licencing. At day's end, I chatted with my boss about the risk of my working with dangerous chemicals every day and he apologized for not being more specific with me earlier on. As it turns out, the ABC chemical found in 98% of the extinguishers I'd be working with is only known to be an irritant - factor in the five different medications I take which suppress my immune system and it's more than an irritant. He then mentioned that the locations I'd be going would be far more dangerous than the ABC chemical. Places like paint shops, refinerys, and electro-plating shops head the list of horrible places that my kidney would just hate.

So, I go in on Monday, return my tee-shirts, hat, jacket and hopefully, collect my last check from them.

On to better things....like Google.

Oh, and another thing....

2005-05-12T06:49:00.000-07:00

Seems I forgot to mention that I'm back in the job search again - it just sort of poped up in my last post with no explaination. So...here's the scoop;

While I am actually working again, I do more often than not, get home in enough time to run errands, check email, etc... Well, on one of these afternoons, (as I mentioned before), I got a lead at National Semiconductor through a friend of mine who is a technical recruiter. He forwarded my resume off to a few of his tech recruiter friends and before I knew it, I got a call from one who wanted to send my resume off to Google!

Here are the notes I scrambled to type into an email to myself so I wouldn't forget them....

....Google max one-year – black box – Windows QA – 30-38/hour – 3-hour
....interview process (Friday) – May 27th, 2005 – MAX one year w/ possibility of
....perm based on performance.
...Experience with automation – HTML – HTTP

Naturally, I'm excited about this prospect. Cross your fingers folks!

Ouch.

2005-05-11T22:14:00.000-07:00

Working in the blue collar industry once again has reminded me of the frailty of man...Make that the frailty of this man. I have come to realize that lifting something as small as a "5 pound" fire extinguisher, (weighing in at 8Lbs 6oz plus or minus 8 oz), on several occasions throughout the day causes out-of-shape tech-heads like myself to be in more pain than they had bargained for.

On the bright side, I'm getting a paycheck, getting out of the house, (at the cost of inhaling toxic powder on occasion), and getting "in shape" again.

Let's just hope that my job search yields something more stable, safe and affords me to be plesantly "sedintary" at a keyboard and mouse once again.

In the mean time - OUCH.

FIRE

2005-05-03T17:30:00.000-07:00

So, after two days of leaning how to charge and condition fire extinguishers, I'm getting the hang of talking out of my @$$ again. By this I mean cursing. I've forgotten how blue collar work attracts young "strapping" guys in their early to mid twenties with over-active hormonal tendancies. Good for me that I spent the day being trained by a 60 year old veteran of the business.....I think.....

...the guy swore like a sailor all day...

So, I get home and discover through a recruiter friend of mine that National Semi Conductor has positions in information technology available. My resume got sent over faster than a wax figure melting on the sun.

More as things unfold....

JOBS JOBS JOBS

2005-04-29T05:46:00.000-07:00

Those of you who know me, know that I have had "issues" getting and keeping work since my bout with Kidney Failure. It's an ugly fact that employers will not hire you if you've had this condition and then they tell you that they found someone else who was more qualified than you to cover up the fact. Why do I tell them I've had the operation? There is a TWO YEAR GAP in my work history and the last job I worked was paying me 44K to play computer games all day.

Challenging? OHHH yeah.

So, ever since the transplant, it's been one battle after another while my mind and body re-adjust to the regiment of drugs I get to take, (which includes prednisone).

My kidneys crashed at the beginning of the DOT BOMB crash and for the following two years, I was on State funds which helped me support the household. Noelle, my wife, got laid off shortly after I was put on dialysis, so in an ironic twist, my state income was the primary bread-winner for a while for 6 months.

In the end, Noelle donated the kidney, I got "work" at a couple of places but it wasn't the same as when I was working for Mplayer.com

The corporate trend in this washed up silicon valley has changed from hiring anyone who had a little experience to hiring young and highly educated pups who'd take any amount of pay just to be working again. This makes it very difficult for an "unskilled QA guy" like me to find work.

Sure, I did find work for 7 months at Electronic Arts as a Support Technician, but they paid me all of $9.50/hr for a job that should have been paying $14.00/hr easily! (remember this before you buy one of their games and want to bitch to someone about how it won't work on your computer). I hated this job and knew I had to keep it to help keep the household afloat. One thing it did teach me was technology and computers skills. I now have a 3 computer lab in my house with wireless everything!

So, my last job looked promising and was ironically enough, behind the Electronic Arts Campus by about 500 yards!.....and in another cruel twist of fate, the funding for my position got pulled because the decrepit old lady who runs the place mis-communicated with a major client regarding procedures. They pulled the funding for my position because of this and before I knew it, I went from sitting at a window office with a view working as a project coordinator to sitting on my couch watching the price is right.

What the smeg just happened here? I was one day away from owning a Mazda 6 Sport Wagon!

Well, this was the week before Thanksgiving 2004. It is now April 29th, 2005 and I have not worked a day since then. For most of my pathetic career, I have always had to skimp on the holidays due to money issues. That holiday season was more depressing than any other I have ever had. THANKS LPS GROUP!

Since having my position terminated for no cause of my own, I have had enumerous interviews with second rate companies, all of which have told me that they have found someone better after having heard about my two year absence in the work force. One guy even asked me my age, and told me that he doesn't like to hire men, usually. I've never been descriminated like this before and I called him on it. He, of course fed me a line to evade a lawsuit. (not gonna' help him much.....I've sought counsil).

So here I am at the gist of this post....after a myrriad of people telling me "NO", I have finally had an interview that went well on Tuesday. It went very well. So well, in fact, that they sent me on a drug screening! (this is code for "it's a 98 percent chance that they will call me to tell me to come in to work once my background security check and my urinalysis clears") So the only thing keeping me from starting there is if they discover the presence of barbiturates in my system, or if my background check reveals that I sell guns or can be a serious liability due to ties with "bad people" or somethig like that, and on both cases, I'm clear.

I asked about my anti-rejection drugs and they said that it's not what they look for, so Ta-Dahhh! - they actually DON'T care about that!!!

The place is called Beacon Fire and Safety - they interviewed me for the position of "Mobile Technician" which loosely means "fire extinguisher refiller". Not a bad thing to do for a living in fact a welcome change from the Tech Rat Race. It means a lot of redundant tasking for a couple of months until I learn enough to move on to something like installing fire alarms and what not, but I'm okay with sitting in a parking lot with 23 -40 cannisters and a radio to keep me busy. I read their leaflet and as it turns out, they also offer fire safety education and teach people how to use a fire extinguisher.

You know, changing career paths is kinda' fun. THIS is what I'm wanting to get into because
1.) I like teaching and
2.) I'm a pyro.

So, I have not gotten a call just yet because it takes up to three to four days for the background check to clear as well as the tox-screening. The interview was on a Tuesday afternoon and the urinalysis was held at around 4:00 PM, (end of the day) - so I don't expect to hear from them until Monday or Tuesday.

All in all, I think I'll be working again by next week. The best thing is that I don't have to ever return to TECH as a career ever again, in fact, I think I've become more knowlegable about it ever since it's become my hobby.

Wish me luck, everyone.....

Skip the wonder dog

2005-01-27T15:49:00.000-08:00

This post should have been posted before the one below it so if you want this to make sense, just scroll down to the post below this - read that one, and come back up here - What a pain I know, but I'm still new at this so PFFFFTT! (hee heee heee!!)

Skip the dog, (Chip Jameson’s wonder dog):

Skip was a test subject in doctor Bertrand Von Haeberschmidt’s genetics lab, which was being fronted as a local Vet. Skip remembers the needles, and the strangely flavored food and when he sees anyone in a lab coat, he’ll go for their pant leg without mercy.

Depending on Skip’s loyalty, he will obey his master and do, to the best of his ability, what Chip asks. If Chip misses his loyalty roll, Skip will do one of the following 20 things:

1. Licks his balls
2. Humps the nearest person’s leg
3. Fetches a BEER.
4. Plays dead (on his back with all four legs splayed out – tongue hanging out)
5. Barks for five minutes
6. Lift’s leg and pees
7. Farts and wag his tail
8. Stares at Chip
9. Chases his tail
10. Curls up and takes a nap and snores
11. Runs away for the remainder of the day (returns next morning)
12. Starts chewing-up the nearest upholstered item (car seats included)
13. Craps on the nearest pair of shoes
14. Digs small useless hole
15. Jumps up on Chips chest and licks his face
16. Runs off and fetches ammo for a different kind of gun than Chips
17. Gets his favorite rubber bone
18. Fetches a lacey bra and panties, (strangely, no screams are heard)
19. Does what chip asks but with distressing accuracy.
20. Licks his balls

Another day in the life creatively wasted

2005-01-27T15:43:00.000-08:00

So, I’m hosting a roll playing game. For me, this means writing - lots and lots of writing...writing and some research. The character is posted here and theatrical licensing has been taken to make it more interesting. Feel free and let me know what you think...

Chip “Doolittle” Jameson:

Chip Jameson is a descendant of the famous Lieutenant Colonel James H. Doolittle.
Chip admired his great grandfather, and wanted, more than anything, to become a pilot. By age 18, he had taken it upon himself to become familiarized with the principals of flight through books, computer simulators, and his father. At Age 21, he soloed in a Piper Cub and graduated to faster and more maneuverable aircraft as the years progressed.

At age 25 he started a flight school, specializing in vintage aircraft. His clients vary from hobbyists to multi-millionaires and as such, his business expanded from his hometown of Pebble Beach, California to an international operation dubbed “Maiden Flight”. On a trip to Cartagena, Columbia he was to instruct a young man in flight basics. His father Jesus Dominguez approached him on the tarmac. He wanted Chip to instruct his son using the Cessna 172 parked near the rusty hanger rather than the P38 Lightning mentioned on the phone, which was nowhere to be seen. Jesus explained in cool controlling words why he misled Chip. Firmly cupping his shoulder, He explained that he simply wanted one of the best instructors to teach his son to fly. Chip nervously accepted the flattery but upon discovering the condition of the aircraft, he refused for safety reasons. This upset Dominguez, and as Chip lit up a cigarette, they both walked towards the runway offices discussing alternatives to the dilemma at hand. It was poor luck when at that moment a gunshot was heard, and a chunk of tarmac flew up at their feet. Several more bullets flew and they scattered for cover. While evading gunfire, a bullet grazed Chip’s left hand, flinging the cigarette he had just lit up through a nearby window. The situation, worsening, all Chip could think to do was to get safety. He rounded the corner of the building, and entered the first door he found. He paused in the doorway long enough to see his lit cigarette smoldering on some papers next to a tangle of lab equipment where Dominguez’ Cacao was being processed. The flames leapt and Chip was blown back out of the door, landing in the back of an old military jeep. A white Terrier sat in the passenger seat with keys to the vehicle in his mouth. As chip struggled to the front seat, he discovered that he’d landed on something – Two King Cobra .357 revolvers in their holsters. Bullets ricocheted off the jeep’s chassis and having never handled anything more than a flare gun, he fired wildly back at those who would kill him. One of Chip’s bullets found a sedaline-welding rig. It exploded, killing Dominguez’s son, (decapitating him).

Mortified and rattled by this, Chip asked the dog for the keys. The dog surprisingly jumped into Chip’s lap and surrendered the keys! He got the jeep started and didn’t stop driving until he ran out of gas. It was dark when he decided to hike back to his plane, the dog following him all the way back to the airfield. After managing to top off the fuel tanks in his C-47 Douglass, he fired up the Pratt and Whitney’s and narrowly escaped Dominguez’s men. After crossing into Panamanian airspace, Chip was startled by the Terrier leaping into the Co-pilot seat. He thought for sure he’d set that dog free…

It was over the skies north of Los Manos, Guatemala where his fuel gauges suddenly dropped to “Empty”. He “deadsticked” the plane to a local airfield whereupon exiting his C-47, he was greeted by 5 greasy looking characters that said they’d fuel him up for free if Chip would fly them and their “cargo” to San Diego. Desperate to get home, he accepted. The flight back was eerily quiet, save growling from the dog, which Chip named “Skip” somewhere over the Panama Coast.

Unable to get clearance at Lindbergh Field in San Diego, Chip was forced to land at the Coast Guard Air Station. This news reached the 5 greasy characters and they rushed forward, demanding that Chip turn back. Skip drew one of the guns from under his seat and all five somehow procured parachutes and exited the plane before he could get a word off. The CIA, and National Guard and the DEA greeted Chip after he landed.

As it turns out, Dominguez family has run the Drug cartel in Columbia for the past 20 years and the death of Jesus’ son sensitized the situation there. To irritate matters more, five unidentified objects were seen falling from chips plane before approach. During this de-briefing, a lieutenant interrupted with news that the C-47’s tail section was packed with several Kilos of uncut Cocaine and ten duffle bags of Marijuana.

Later that afternoon, five lifeless bodies were found floating in the San Diego Bay, each wearing faulty parachutes. They were identified as leading members of Southern Guatemalan Cartel, Luis Carrasco.

Fortunately, CIA operatives who witnessed the events in Cartagena unfold corroborated Chip’s story. Chip became an instant hero with front-page recognition as “the man who flew home the largest drug bust in California history” with his amazing story. With his face plastered all over the news, Jesus Dominguez could easily track Chip. So could Luis Carrasco who lost five good men and some irreplaceable contraband that day.

Never expecting to enjoy the kick of a gun, Chip joined the NRA and practices with his Columbian .357’s on a bi-weekly basis. Due to the economy and his new gun habit, “Maiden Flight” flight school was taking a downward turn. The economy and gas prices weren’t helping any either so, Chip decided to take up other interests and study veterinary skills.

He also worked as a lab assistant to for a local Vet named Doctor Bertrand Haeberschmidt. One day he brought Skip in for a checkup. Later that afternoon, Chip took a cigarette break out back and witnessed His Terrier, Skip, being chased out of Fung Hu’s across the street by a butcher knife-wielding chef. Skip dodged four cars, bounded off the saddlebag of a passing motorcycle, skidded across the hood of a parked Cadillac, and landed in Chip’s arms. This took place in less than 3 seconds.

The Chef who was chasing him wasn’t so lucky as when he entered the second lane, he was struck by an animal control truck and then slammed into by a city bus going the other way. As it skidded to a halt, the Banner on the side of the bus displayed an ad from the A.S.P.C.A. Chip discovered though creative meddling, that Haeberschmidt was not only conducting genetic experiments on the animals, but selling dogs to the Chinese food restaurants around town! Haeberschmidt was arrested that afternoon and his lab was taken as evidence.

During the trial, Chip implicated the Doctor as a “Mad scientist” after he confessed to injecting Skip. Haeberschmidt, when sentenced to be deported back to Germany, pointed one of his three fingers at Chip and swore he’d find him.

Today, Chip and Skip live their lives in California and are blissfully unaware that plans for his demise draw closer every day.

2005-01-06T06:32:00.000-08:00

...yours truely

Merry Freekin' Holiday!!!!

2005-01-06T05:39:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I've finally gotten around to posting bits of my life on a blog. Why not?, I've survived damn near everything, so why not write about it?

Typically, I wake up at somewhere between "holy crap it's early" and "why am I awake?" I guess this explains why I've decided to start my blog. I got too much time on my hands and I've exhausted my list of things to do before the world wakes up - any other suggestions?

The Holiday season is behind us and we are breathing a sigh of relief. Sure the extremely dry Christmas tree is still up as well as all the lights on the front of the apartment, but it's been too cold and rainy to do anything about it just yet - besides, our next-door neighbors still have not had their Christmas yet because they were with family in Michigan for 10 days. I know that doesn't sound like it makes sense, but factor in the failing health of one of their family members, having the airline loose their luggage twice, and a very late flight back home and you can draw your own picture. So with all that in mind, we offered to make a turkey/tofurkey dinner (one of them is vegetarian) and are leaving the lights up.

This'll be our THIRD Christmas - but probably the most quiet of the three, and while I know it is supposed to be the season of giving, every one likes to brag about the "loot". 'That said, I can say our kitchen is populous of one more item this year - an 11 Cup Cuisinart Food Processor (see my home site for the pic). Oh, our stemweare finally matches, too.

The next toy I'd like to suprise the spouse with is a Oxo Mandoline Slicer (see http://www.cooking.com/products/shprodde.asp?SKU=206268 for what I'm talking about).

Okay, enough for this morning - ...think I'll go make some coffee now....(Trader Joe's French Roast)